Earthlings.
I'm one of those people that have no idea what I want to do with my life after high school. I've thought about it and have gone through fazes of what I want to do. For the longest time I wanted to be a teacher. But every time I start to think 'i won't do well at that or I will fail miserably.' I also get put down a lot when I tell people about what I want to do, 'you really think you can do that' is the most common one I hear, mostly from family.
Its hard to know what I want to do because there are so many things out there. It's difficult to choose at such a young age. I know people who still have no idea what they want to do occupational wise and are in their 30's, 40's. My parents being a prime example. I know there is no rush, but lately with this being my final year of "high school" and having to think more and more about what I want to do after high school has got me a tad down.
I always thought when I was younger I would be a teacher no joke, then I wanted to be a lawyer, but soon when school started to become a problem I realized I'd be in school to long for both, and school is really a bad thing for me. Then I started to think maybe a baker or cook. But by the time I thought of this I was in the middle of high school with no cooking classes. So Baking went out the small window.
Lately I started to think if I don't know what I'm going to do for a occupation I won't have a future. and yes I know there is more to life then just work, like family and traveling. I want to travel but I don't want to do a job where I travel because I'd only see the inside of hotels and airports. and Family, I'm never getting married, if I do get married it'll be a miracle, and kids I want but I would need to support them some how.
I don't want a job I hate. I see all these older people like my parents and grandparents that have jobs they put up with because they needed money to survive. I want something I love to do and wouldn't mind doing 5 days a week or more. I want to be able to enjoy my job, like my boss and A&W does. She honestly enjoys what she does, and it makes her happy. I don't want to work at A&W the rest of my life..
Lately though I've been thinking Wedding Planner or even Party Planner because I'm a good organizer, and I love planning things. I've planned about 3 different parties for family. All of them were surprise parties. I think they all turned out pretty well. But I don't know, like I said I start to doubt myself. Sometimes I wish I have super Confidence in myself so I could stick to one thing and know what I have in store for my future....
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
No Grad or Dances for Sam
Fellow Earthlings
I am a non stoppable facebook stalker, Yes I admit it. I find no shame in it. Isn't that what facebook was made for? to stalk the unstalkable old friends?
In about grade 6 I had a big group of friends. I was not popular, nor have I ever been or cared to be popular. I had a good group of rejected friends. We were crazy and just plain weird. I loved it. Now I have maybe a few close friends and only talk to one of my old friends. This year would have been my graduating year of high school. But I have problems, and switched to a more suitable school for me.
The only downfall to my school is we don't have grad, or winter formal, or the senior sail. Or even Prom.
I don't even graduate this year. I have to wait till I am 19 to graduate from my school, due to the program I'm in. I remember back when my best friend at the time, Andrea and I would talk about our future proms, I was never huge on dressing up in a dress and dancing for a Prom or dance. I was anti-prom at the time. Now All i see are these girls from back then all dressed up at these graduation Dances.
It pains me to see them, because I know I should be there with them. I should be next to them, with a gown smiling and taking photos of ourselves. But I'm not.
It leaves a huge hole of sadness to know I'll never be able to have a prom or a Graduation or even be able to walk across the platform to accept my diploma. I feel disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to go through a normal high school like everyone else. I remember when I was little I always want to have the class A high school experience. but reality I got the first 2 and a half years of real high school. Till I transferred to CABE then when that didn't work out I transferred to LINC and it is great it's small and It helps with Teens in the same situation as me. But I still miss everything I would have had if I was able to stick in my old school with my old friends. I miss a lot of things. Specially my old friends. Missing people always leaves a deep hole of what you used to have...
I am a non stoppable facebook stalker, Yes I admit it. I find no shame in it. Isn't that what facebook was made for? to stalk the unstalkable old friends?
In about grade 6 I had a big group of friends. I was not popular, nor have I ever been or cared to be popular. I had a good group of rejected friends. We were crazy and just plain weird. I loved it. Now I have maybe a few close friends and only talk to one of my old friends. This year would have been my graduating year of high school. But I have problems, and switched to a more suitable school for me.
The only downfall to my school is we don't have grad, or winter formal, or the senior sail. Or even Prom.
I don't even graduate this year. I have to wait till I am 19 to graduate from my school, due to the program I'm in. I remember back when my best friend at the time, Andrea and I would talk about our future proms, I was never huge on dressing up in a dress and dancing for a Prom or dance. I was anti-prom at the time. Now All i see are these girls from back then all dressed up at these graduation Dances.
It pains me to see them, because I know I should be there with them. I should be next to them, with a gown smiling and taking photos of ourselves. But I'm not.
It leaves a huge hole of sadness to know I'll never be able to have a prom or a Graduation or even be able to walk across the platform to accept my diploma. I feel disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to go through a normal high school like everyone else. I remember when I was little I always want to have the class A high school experience. but reality I got the first 2 and a half years of real high school. Till I transferred to CABE then when that didn't work out I transferred to LINC and it is great it's small and It helps with Teens in the same situation as me. But I still miss everything I would have had if I was able to stick in my old school with my old friends. I miss a lot of things. Specially my old friends. Missing people always leaves a deep hole of what you used to have...
Samantha Margaret Rose
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