To Eat or Not To Eat.

Fellow Earthlings.

Sometimes I wonder weather I'm just a waste of fucking space in my house. I always try to make my Dad happy with not touching 'his' food or anybody else's.  To fill you in and make this a short post because I actually want to watch a movie instead of bitch (no offence to my blog), I don't eat much I rarely eat and when I do eat I get in shit for eating.  I eat maybe one meal a day if I'm in the mood. I have headaches from not eating and I hate eating because of the shit I get into for eating.  For example. the past weekend I can name everything I've eaten. Friday. I had a small fries and a piece of chicken. Saturday I had maybe a bite of spaghetti maybe. Now Sunday I had a small soup and a burger I made at work because I had a major headache and I was going hurl if I didn't eat something. Now That isn't a lot considering I'm 17 and a big girl. If you saw me you would probably think wow she's a fatty she needs to stop eating. I've heard that a Million times, and worst part is I don't eat. I've been called everything from Hoover to Lard ass. Some of the names like hoover from family members.  Now Today I haven't eaten much all weekend I have a killer headache and I'm super nauseous so my mom made me a turkey sandwich. I ate it, of course its yummy and it had Sprouts in it. so I go Make myself a second one ( we buy the lunch meat that has two sides, so one side is almost empty so I finish that side off). now just as I finish making my second sandwich my Fucking ass hole of a father walks in. as I walk out. and he looks at the turkey bag of meat and Screams ALL THAT MEAT FOR ONE SANDWICH?!  I can't stress to you how much this made me want to throw up. I rarely eat and he has the balls to say this to me. Now As I write this I have a very well made yummy ass sandwich next to me I don't want to eat it now. I was all gun ho to eat it before he said that.  I wish for once I could eat something, and people wouldn't make a fucking big deal.  

I miss you Bro

Fellow Earthlings.

Today is another night on which I lay in bed with me, myself and, I, (oh and Dasher snoring under the blankets).  I am doing what I do every night stalking old friends on facebook.  This one person in particular tonight, mostly because I miss him more than everybody else I've been friends with. 

I met him grade 5 or 6 I can't remember we've known each other for years. He was my best guy friend and kinda still is if you count not speaking to him in literally months, I try calling and calling, and I've tried messaging him, but he won't message me back. I miss him so much it hurts because I know we used to be so close until I switched schools.

From grade 8-middle of 11 he was the only boy I would hug and feel okay with. He was the sweetest guy unless there was something wrong which 99.9% of the time I knew there was something wrong. because we were that close. For the longest time I loved him more than a best friend, and maybe a little of me still does, but I grew up and realized we would and could only be friends. 

But I miss him so much it aches. I wish I could speak to him and even hang out because he's always been a big part of my life for so long. Now I feel like I'm missing such a huge part of my life without him. It's crazy I know because he's one of my only true friends that I've had for so long and we never really fought about anything but small things... 

I miss you man. and No this isn't my undying love for him or anything just a big empty missing of my best guy friend. I haven't seen him in so long I really and truly miss his skinny blonde ass.