What's the point?

Hi Earthlings,

*This following post is probably going to be very depressing just to warn you. *

           As most of you all know I suffer from depression, (who doesn't right?) I should be taking my pills but I don't I used to be so aware of everything and anything around me but when I'm on them I feel like a zombie like I'm not even around. Right now Is the hardest time for me, specially at home.

        Everything is just so freaking screwed up no body wants me around, and I'm always treated like I'm a child, and stupid. Everywhere I go someone is always treating me like this. I don't want to be here anymore, I try and help people but it whiplashes back in my face. Sure I have an attitude but seriously does it really mean you have to call me a cow, or a stupid little bitch?

       I love my Parents but I can't handle them, my dad cares more about his computer buddies then real life, I have to jump up and down screaming to actually get his attention and half the time that doesn't even work.
My Mom, I used to be so close to when she was doing bad things a couple years ago, then she changed back. I used to have to help her and care for her when she get so bad that she couldn't do things the next day. I always tried to be close to her and I still am a little but I can feel us falling apart, I can feel the tension between us get stronger. I actually used to like going to her to tell her things now I don't even want to go near her because she's always treating me like I've done something wrong. And now a days all she does is sleep, so I can't really talk to her about half the things I used to.

       Honestly I don't want to be on Earth anymore, or even a being of the universe. I want to be able to close my eyes and  dig my cold feet into the earth, staying there forever.  Even though Death scares me more than anything, I would rather get rid of myself then be such a horrible burden on everyone. If I was gone, my mom could be so content with not having to always wonder where I am, having to worry about how much of a fucking bitch I am. And my Dad wouldn't be bothered anymore for rides and actually having to be a grown up. And I wouldn't hurt so much, whenever I try and help them. It's impossible to speak to them or even be around them, yet they always wonder why I am never around. That's why because I rather not be hurting you and myself by being around you. I never want to burden you two. Like you always said I was a mistake anyways. Why don't I just help you get rid of your fucking mistake. That way you both can Live Happily Ever After.

Samantha Margaret Rose